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Not Paris

 I wasn’t really feeling like I had anything to write about until a friend of mine (Peter Nichols, in town promoting his new book, Final Voyage: A Story of Arctic Disaster and One Fateful Whaling Season, an engaging history of our original oil business–whale oil, that is–and the storm that killed it) grabbed the last cheese stick I’d made our kids yesterday morning, explaining between bites:  “You made these?  I eat them every day for lunch in Paris along with a bit of cheese.  They cost me one Euro!  Mmmm.”

Yes, I wanted to kill him for dropping the “P” word and especially for acting as if living there is a hardship.  He’s teaching two weekly writing classes, one for screenplays and the other for fiction.  It sounds so 1920’s–except for the screenplay stuff.  At least he’s only making enough to cover his rent.  He’ll be starving in no time, I hope.

But back to those “cheese sticks.”  I think they might be called fougasse* in French but maybe fougasse are crisp and more like a crunchy Italian breadstick?  Either way, his eating more than his share while not-so-subtly bragging about Paris made me realize I definitely wanted to toss out this idea and recipe (hope I didn’t do so while writing for Gourmet?).

It’s nothing tricky and in fact, that’s why I make them–a last minute, “oh, chicken poop (yes, I step in it every day and use the word poop along with an occasional shit even though Lisa says my saying poop sounds childish)” I’ve-got-to-fill-the-kids-up-with-something fallback.

So, pretend like it’s Friday morning.  The alarm has failed to wake me at 5:30 am and it’s now 6:15.  I clean yesterday’s coffee filter which has been used only six times, turn the over to 375, make the coffee and then throw together our version of the internet-sensation, no-knead bread dough (3 1/2 cups bread flour, 1 1/2 cups water from our well (no chemicals!), 2 1/2 teaspoons salt, and since it’s last minute stuff, 2 teaspoons yeast.

It’s now 6:30 and while it’s being stirred together in the mixer, I grate whatever cheese we have handy but preferably some low-rent parmesan or asiago.  When the dough is ready, I grab a sticky handful and somehow get it to roll into a log shape by doing this on top of a 2-3 tablespoons of the grated cheese.  The cheese covers the stickiness making the dough pliable–or at least able to be shaped into the foot-long pieces we like.  One no-knead recipe makes about a dozen of these cheese breadsticks.

The oven is usually ready by this point (6:40 to 6:50, depending on whether or not the coffee has taken effect and how many arguments Lisa and I have had with the kids and each other–the latter almost always occurring only because of the former) and then they bake until 7:00-7:10, about 20 minutes.

After taking them out of the oven in a mad rush, I toss them at the girls (Angus gets to eat his at the table since his bus comes later) as we’re pushing these surly she-devils that used to be our little angels out the house.

So, if you too have a house full of fledgling teens, give these cheese sticks a try. They don’t always make the kids nicer but they do taste good.

*Postscript: A wonderful person (see first comment under this posting) just wrote in explaining what a real fougasse is.  So, clearly, what I’m making is not fougasse but I hope some of you will try anyway.  Her fougasse sounds divine, however.  She had me at  “anchovies, pork/duck cracklings” by the way.  We’ll just stick to calling the things we make cheese sticks.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 11:22 and is filed under breadsticks, Frugal dish, Peter Nichols, fougasse, Frugal Meals, cheese sticks, Outwitting Children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

13 Responses to “Not Paris”

  1. Madeleine says:
    Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 17:42

    Hello, a word from a fellow foodie and writer, but one who is knowledgeable about fougasse (they’re made in my backyard). It is the flat bread of Provence, (think focaccia — same etymological origins; also to Fouace in Gargantua) and is most often made with anchovies, pork/duck cracklings, or plain with olive oil and a touch of sugar. It is rolled out flat, and then incised with multiple 2 inch straight cuts, then opened up like a lattice, and baked till lightly brown. Basic bread dough will do, but my baker also has a recipe using olive oil and butter. Now that you’ve reminded me of it, I’ll put it on my blog in the next couple of days (but first, I have to get my car breaks fixed — my frugal experiments including not paying particular attention to my car…. oops). Take care

    and yes, living in France has its plusses, earning a large income is not one of them.

  2. Melissa Trainer says:
    Monday, October 19, 2009 at 15:01

    Yes, I feed teens and yes it’s a challenge. I too bake from scratch in the wee hours of the morning just so I have something to hand off to my gremlins as they grumble out of bed and squabble out the door! It’s a seemingly endless task and it/s one that’s made far harder when you are on a budget. I’m glad you’ve continued your work after Gourmet’s demise.
    Melissa A. Trainer
    www.hooksforcooks.com

  3. Mother Chaos says:
    Monday, October 19, 2009 at 23:51

    I can’t wait to try this!! I’m always looking for something (relatively) fast and tasty to hand my Denizens. Last week they were crowded around me, all four at once, saying, “Snack? Snack? Snack? Snack?” and I swear it was like being surrounded by a pack of yapping terriers…

  4. Paul Kobulnicky says:
    Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 11:58

    Here is another …

    Make a focaccia dough. It keeps well in the fridge a few days or in the freeze a week or so. In the early AM, get some non-frozen dough out, flatten it into a sheet about 1/2 inch thick. Sprinkle with cinnimon, sugar, chopped walnuts and currents. Cut into 2′ wide strips. Roll each strip along its length to form a twist (the filling is in the center. Put them in a pan with sides so they do not touch. Brush the sides that face each other with a bit of melted butter. Let rise an hour. Back at 400 for 40 minutes. No sweat, pull-apart breakfast rolls.

  5. JodieMo says:
    Wednesday, October 21, 2009 at 15:42

    Hi there! Came this way from the unfortunately terminal Gourmet site. Love you blog and your mission. The cheesesticks sound great! I’m going to have to give them a try, my kids would probably love them. I thought I would throw a tidbit your way and let you know about a book I have read a few times now ( and available at your local library) called the Tightwad Gazette. It’s a little dated since it was published in the mid-90’s, but I think you might get some good ideas from there. Best of luck to you!

  6. Hodding says:
    Thursday, October 22, 2009 at 22:04

    Mother Chaos, I wasn’t imagining yapping terriers but something more like baby birds sitting in a nest, mouths wide open, facing skyward, chirping loudly as they waited for their mother-masticated worms and grubs. You agree?

    By the way, to the rest of you, this very funny, astute reader kept leaving comments when I was writing for Gourmet. I hadn’t realized she had a blog until she mentioned it a few months into our sort-of correspondence. I’m talking about Mother Chaos’s www.denofchaos.com. Her words force you to spit out the milk if you make the silly mistake of reading her pieces while downing your morning cereal. An especially bad idea if you happen to be sitting in front of your keyboard. It’s cleaned up pretty well, though. No worries, Mother C.

  7. KimE says:
    Friday, October 23, 2009 at 08:22

    October 5th was my birthday and I was ok with it until I turned on CNN and that Susan what’s-her-name at the NYSE told me that Gourmet magazine was ceasing to exist. WHAT? I had to rewind and make her say it again. How can this be? I wondered why I wasn’t receiving renewal notices which they start sending at least six months in advance. I am so sad. But then Thursday is “read the frugal dude’s blog day” and I am behind a few weeks…double whammy. OMG! Can it get any worse? But here you are! I am so glad!
    Somebody please explain to me why this has happened. If the only answer is “money” don’t bother. A tragedy of this magnitude can only be explained by an equally horrific conspiracy theory! Bon Appetit can continue but not Gourmet? Huh?

  8. Hodding says:
    Saturday, October 24, 2009 at 00:27

    KimE: I hope I’m not responding too late to your question about Gourmet. Some of the Gourmet staffers… well, ex-staffers think the fact that the magazine wasn’t offered to any potential buyers reveals Si Newhouse’s real plans for the magazine–in a 3-4 years he’ll relaunch it staffed with a dozen or so 23-year-olds. He won’t have to pay them jack but they’ll have the cache of this culinary icon. It makes sense, of course, but it’s such a cutthroat maneuver. I’m not rooting for this outcome for many reasons–the first among many being it’s such a shitty thing to do to some truly first-class editors and the second is that it won’t be the Gourmet we so thoroughly enjoyed (or loved). Of course, this is only conjecture but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Otherwise, closing a magazine that had readers who were more likely to buy the merchandise being advertised and promoted between its pages was downright boneheaded. Right?

  9. KimE says:
    Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 11:56

    Hodding, (love your name) thank you for responding. It’s always about money and I knew it before I ever asked the question. Conjecture, yes, but it makes perfect sense. This smacks of Wal-Mart. They don’t carry what you want, only what makes them a hefty profit. Cutthroat and shitty are fitting terms for both. Gourmet magazine was serious about food. I love that. There was something for everyone…vegans, people who don’t have much time to spend in the kitchen but still care about what they eat, people who like roadside diners. They taught us about food all over the world, where it comes from, the people who grow it, and for me best of all, how to prepare it. Places I will never go but still I could have a taste. Class and wisdom have nothing to do with money. Gourmet had both.

  10. Melanie Hubbard says:
    Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 11:09

    Hey, Hodding and everyone– I’ve been following this experiment for a while at Gourmet and now here, and last week, inspired, I made some quick cheese sticks, which went over very well but which got increasingly tough and chewy as the days passed. But you mentioned ‘no-knead bread,’ so I googled it and came up with the original recipe by Jim Lahey published in the New York Times. What’s frugal about it is that it uses only 1/4 tsp of yeast and very little active time. What’s fabulous about it is that it made me feel like a rockin’ genius. IT IS SO EASY TO MAKE! Forget the rigamarole of putting the dough into a towel, or heating your covered Pyrex dish to 450F– I just cleaned my bread bowl, VERY lightly oiled it and sprinkled it with corn meal, and two hours later, after the final rise, dumped the dough straight into a cold ceramic covered pot and started with a cold oven. An hour later, a shattering brown crust, moist webbed chewy soft inside– a French boule worth eating in one sitting, good enough to sell if you could bear to.

    In the wee hours, the night before the baking, I woke from time to time, thinking of that tiny amount of yeast breeding and fermenting through the night. It was like knowing I was pregnant. I find making bread enormously satisfying, but this is hands down the best bread I’ve ever made. Easy, easy, easy, y’all!

  11. Kirsten says:
    Monday, November 2, 2009 at 15:40

    Frugal Guy! I miss your regular posts! I know you’re probably having to find some work that pays and this blog doesn’t, but yours is one blog that I will read despite ads, so sign up for those ads! I miss your writing, your humor, your stories. I’m sure I’m not alone. Hope you’re hanging in there and the roosters and cold haven’t gotten to you!

  12. Jayne says:
    Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 21:48

    Just read your entire blog series from Gourmet and here in one day! Whew!! I am inspired and motivated to live more frugally. We too are in debt up to our eyeballs. We are not even close to the frugality that your family has embraced but we do a little here and there. Reading your blog makes me want to do more, makes me realize we need to do more, challenges me to do more!! Whoo hoo!! You rock the frugal world!

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